Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 7/22/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, the Beatles tribute band, The Fab Four, is suing the Beatles tribute band, The Fab 4, because they are "essentially identical in sound and appearance." Okay, let me see if I understand this... You're a tribute band and make your living by imitating a well known band? Now you're upset because another tribute band, imitating the same band that you are imitating, has an act that is too similar to yours? Well, good luck with that...

A statement on their website says, "The Rodex Rodent Control system is the quickest and most reliable method of rodent eradication." Using a propane-air mixture to explosively demolish the homes of innocent burrowing rodents may sound like fun for you, but I doubt very much that the lawn rodents find it funny at all! Doesn't seem that the neighbors really care for all those loud "Kaboom"s either. One Oregon man has filed suit against a pest control company, claiming that he suffered permanent hearing damage last year when the Rodex system was used to remove rodents on his next-door neighbor’s property. He seeks $146,427 for medical bills and pain and suffering. No information is available on how much in compensation the lawn rodents are seeking...

I've always enjoyed saunas. While most of the time I really don't like being sweaty, there is just something really relaxing about sitting in a hot sauna (especially in the winter, when you can go outside and roll in the snow afterwards!) Several folks on eBay had thought that they'd found the perfect thing. "Ideal for conversion into a one-person sauna, a small bar or a children's playhouse," the item description said. It was constructed of nice age-darkened hardwood. The church was being remodeled, they certainly didn't need that old confessional booth anymore. and then the archdiocese found out. "Confessionals should not be converted into saunas or bars." Oh, and the top bid when the item was pulled from eBay? 666 Euros...

Cattaraugus County Sheriff's Officers saw the vehicle run the stop sign, and they signaled the driver to pull over. Instead, the driver made a run for it. Reaching speeds in excess of 20 miles-per-hour, the chase lasted for 3/4 of a mile before the horse & buggy crashed, and the driver fled on foot. He was later apprehended. Yes, I said "horse & buggy." Turns out that the driver was a 17-year-old Amish lad in illegal possession of alcohol. He must have already consumed a bit of that alcohol to think he could outrun the police cruiser. "Thou hast the right to maintain thy silence, if thou doest give up thy right to maintain thy silence, whatsoever thou sayest shalt be used against thee in a court of law..."

I make no secret that my all-time favorite television show is Magnum P.I. It went on the air my freshman year of high school, and I tried my best to be home on Thursday nights to watch every episode. So I was excited to hear that there was a new Magnum case that had just been solved in Hawai'i. A man found one of those classic red Magnum Aloha shirts in a thrift store. Used and torn, he was able to purchase it for $2.99. Then he saw the autograph, "For The Hard Rock, With much aloha, Tom Selleck." Sure enough, the autographed shirt had been stolen from the Honolulu Hard Rock Cafe. Case closed, and Rick didn't have to track down a single license plate...

And now, to revisit a case from a Nut Cache past. You may remember this: "Marion V., who teaches German and Geography, refuses to say if she is actually afraid of rabbits. But when she walked into the classroom and spotted the drawing on the board she burst into tears and fled." Well, the case has gone to court & the court ruled against Marion V. and for Kim, the girl who drew the rabbit. The court said that the defendant, Kim, proved in court that Marion V.'s "Bunniophobia" was fact. One wonders, did they bring a bunny into the courtroom? Is there film?

It is funny how every movement seems to want to make Jesus their own. Back in the 1960's, the Jesus Movement saw Jesus as the original hippy. Liberal theologians see Jesus as a crusader for Social Justice. New Agers view Jesus as one of "the enlightened ones." Therefore, it shouldn't surprise any of us that proponents of the use of marijuana think that Jesus was a stoner. Using very selective and... unique, shall we say... interpretations of Biblical passages, an article in High Times magazine says that Jesus not only used marijuana himself, but he used marijuana to accomplish all his healings, because marijuana cures everything, don't you know. At least, since it's High Times, we don't really have to wonder what they were smoking when they wrote this... (WARNING-While I did not see any offensive content when I read the article, be advised that it is High Times magazine. There is also a summury article from the U.K. Guardian.{High Times article - Guardian article})(h.t. wonky73)

That's all for this week, kids! Keep those Nuts and letters coming!

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5 comments:

Jeff B said...

I can see it now. Amish kid operating the Rodex 5000 after being anointed with the "Special Oil of Healing".

The Squirrel said...

... while listening to The Fab Four (or 4) singing Strawberry Fields...

Squirrel

Fred Butler said...

For Hawaii being such a small place, I was always amazed with how much crime went on out there.

Tom Kelley said...

That Rodex is awesome! Not a toy?? Yeah, right!

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Teacher. Bunny. Caerbannog.

And really, people shouldn't sweat a little (or a lot) in the confessional? I think it's perfect!

Julie