Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 5/6/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

We all know that people are not supposed to drink and drive. Sometimes, people who drink and drive hit things with their cars. Then the police come. Since you've already been caught, and are sure to get a ticket, if not hauled off to jail, you might as well finish your beer while chatting with the cops...

Tragedy has struck the Gulf Coast, no doubt. Lose of life followed by a massive oil spill. The efforts to clean up the oil spill have been hampered by bad weather and faulty equipment. But, have no fear! There's a man in Boulder, Colorado who has a plan that'll fix the whole thing! (h.t. Rush Limbaugh

"Dude!" "Yeah?" "Dude, the guy on this wanted poster looks like you... Dude, what've you been doing?" A joke in poor taste led to a police report, which led to a wanted poster being put up all around town. Basically, sounds like a good kid. He turned himself in. Still, must have been a shock to see himself on a wanted poster!

One thing that everybody needs to remember, don't insult women. It's rude. Especially in the Midwest. Midwest girls a different, I think. Tougher. More resilient. And, at 3am at a house party, I'd also suspect they'd been drinking. Drunk Midwestern girls can be mean. Really mean. Don't insult them. It's rude, and it's a bad idea. This guy found out just how bad an idea it is.

We've not gotten on very well with Iran since the Shah was overthrown in 1978. Now they've got a crazy guy as president, and he wants nukes. All this is to say that tensions are high. There so high, that you'd think that a pilot of an Iranian military plane wouldn't buzz a United States Navy ship in the Persian Gulf. How about a capital ship? Oh, why not buzz an entire Carrier Battle Group? Lucky for the crazy pilot, our boys are a bit more level headed & didn't shoot the idiot down!

Everybody warned that, if homosexuals were allowed to "wed", then other... perverse... "weddings" would follow. Well, it seems like it's happening. A German man has now married his cat. Strange people out there... Anyway, when informed of this, my friend Wonky73 said of his cat, "Me and Jobu could be a same sex inter species marriage." I'm 94.7% certain that he was just kidding... But he does like that cat...

What could be better then finding a run down Victorian-era building "built into the cliffside overlooking Scarborough's North Bay." Sure, it had been abandoned for a few years, but it would make a nice home, wouldn't it? Tracy and Graham Woodhouse thought so. So they bought the old public bathroom and went to work... Yes, I said "bathroom". They live in a old loo...

This one I just watched last night. I majored in history in college & I've read volumes of histories of World War II, and I'd never heard about this before. It seems that, during WWII, the Imperial Japanese Navy had developed submarine aircraft carriers! They build two, the I-400 & the I-401. America captured both at the end of the war, examined them, then sunk them off of Hawaii, to keep the Russians from seeing them. Sounds like it gave us a big leg up on the Soviets in Cold War submarine design. Who knew?

"Hello? Police? Come quick! They've got guns and they might just shoot..." a movie? Police get called to break up a robbery scene being shot by a film company. Poor actor with a fake gun almost got blown away. "Cut cut cut cut CUT! The police aren't supposed to enter yet! Haven't you guys read the script? Okay, everybody, break for lunch!"

Photographic evidence from Canada shows that the pond in Confederation Park might have a monster to rival the one at Loch Ness. Bird watcher Tom Badeau spotted the creature, and took photographs to local officials, who have been searching the pond ever since. To date, the creature has not been located, but few locals doubt its existence.

I really wish I was making this up. I really do. The fact that it's real makes me want to cry. It's also funny. Laugh-out-loud funny. There's so many things wrong with the church in this story that I don't even know where to start. Maybe I should just let you read it for yourselves.

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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