Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 5/27/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

State Troopers in Fairbanks Alaska are investigating a brutal mass slaying. Twenty-six decapitated bodies were found arranged in an, as yet undeciphered, pattern. The victims heads were not located. Three residents of the same facility were left unharmed, but are too chicken to talk. Actually, the victims are all chickens, too. But police are still baffled...

The Constitution of the United States. Hundreds each day file past this document in its display case in the National Archive. Just about everybody knows that a bunch of guys wrote it along time ago, and that it is kind of important somehow. Now it seems that many people are starting to talk about the Constitution and what it says and what it means. In fact, it seems that reading the Constitution is becoming a popular thing to do! Gives me hope, it does.

It always worries me when I hear people say things like, "God told me to..." First, I've got very strong convictions about the sufficiency of Scripture and the Canon of Scripture being closed. Second, there's the fact that nobody every even tries to satisfy the Test of a True Prophet that God gave in Deuteronomy 18:22. Then there's the fact that too many of them say stuff like, "God told him to walk the streets naked to save his soul." Hmm... that's not what my Bible says...

Government interference seems to just be getting more and more intrusive. Smoking bans, salt limits, no more trans-fats. Now the government wants to say what we can and cannot wear. Yes, it's true. It is now against the law to vote in Nevada while wearing a chicken suit. (And, until that killer is caught, I wouldn't wear a chicken suit in Alaska, either...)

A couple of months ago, we had the story of a druggie who sent a text to the wrong number and invited the cops to share the drugs instead of her buddies. Well, stupid phone tricks continue. I seems that two dope dealers where staying in hotel rooms across the hall from each other. The guy in room 118 tried to call the guy in room 119. Well, he dialed the right numerals, but he dialed them in the wrong order... Yep, that's why they call it dope!

I remember reading The Amityville Horror when it was published in 1977. I was 12 years old, and it was terrifying to read. It scared me so badly that I didn't watch the 1979 film version until 1983 at a Halloween party my senior year of high school. I've not seen the re-make at all. I don't believe in ghosts, and I don't believe The Amityville Horror story to be true, but some things stick with you. Well, the house where these hauntings supposedly took place is up for sale. I'm not interested in purchasing that property. Thanks anyway.

That's the Nuttiness for this week! Keep those Nuts and letters coming!

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