Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 1/6/2011

Welcome to the first Nut Cache of 2011! The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

You planned the heist & pulled it off. The police have no clue who you and your cohorts are. You've gotten away with it. You're home free. That is, until you get mad and call the police to complain that the list of stolen items they released to the press is incomplete. Yup, dumb criminals strike again! (The Chatham Ontario police departments #2 is almost a good: a kid called to complain that his parents had smashed his bong...)

I'm sure that, in times past, hard working scribes spilled wine on the parchments they were working on. I know that I've spilled water, coca-cola, and coffee on multiple keyboards and laptops. In fact, despite multiple cleanings, the keyboard I'm using now has a sticky back-arrow key from a glass of Coca-Cola a few months back. Spilling liquids on your work is nothing new, but rarely does it make national news. Hey, Boeing? Maybe a redesign on the cup holders in the cockpit of the 777?

Last month, the governor of Egypt's South Sinai province, Mohamed Abdul Fadil Shousha, exposed a Zionist plot to damage the Egyptian economy, and suggested that Israeli spies had released sharks off of Egyptian beaches in an effort to hurt the Egyptian tourist trade. Now it seems that Saudi Arabia has captured an Israeli spy, disguised as a vulture. (Part of me finds this hilariously amusing, but part of me finds the fact that people believe this stuff frightening as can be...)

Last week, a record-breaking snowfall paralyzed New York City. Because it took so long to clear the streets, the trash was not picked up for days, and piled up on the sidewalk. On New Yorker is still alive because that trash piled up (even though he didn't want to be.) A 26-year-old man jumped out of his 9th-floor apartment in what is believed to have been a suicide attempt, but, instead of the concrete sidewalk, he landed on a mound of snow-covered trash bags. Smelly, but alive, he was taken to a hospital.

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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