Jesus Anointed at Bethany

It was now two days before the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. And the chief priests and the scribes were seeking how to arrest him by stealth and kill him, for they said, "Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar from the people."

And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, "Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor." And they scolded her. But Jesus said, "Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her."

Then Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve, went to the chief priests in order to betray him to them. And when they heard it, they were glad and promised to give him money. And he sought an opportunity to betray him.
(Mark 14:1-11 ESV)

The Olivet Discourse

And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down."

And as he sat on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, "Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when all these things are about to be accomplished?" And Jesus began to say to them, "See that no one leads you astray. Many will come in my name, saying, 'I am he!' and they will lead many astray. And when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. This must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains.

"But be on your guard. For they will deliver you over to councils, and you will be beaten in synagogues, and you will stand before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them. And the gospel must first be proclaimed to all nations. And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit. And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. And you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.


"But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where he ought not to be (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Let the one who is on the housetop not go down, nor enter his house, to take anything out, and let the one who is in the field not turn back to take his cloak. And alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days! Pray that it may not happen in winter. For in those days there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be. And if the Lord had not cut short the days, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect, whom he chose, he shortened the days. And then if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or 'Look, there he is!' do not believe it. For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform signs and wonders, to lead astray, if possible, the elect. But be on guard; I have told you all things beforehand.

"But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will be falling from heaven, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. And then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And then he will send out the angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of heaven.

"From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that he is near, at the very gates. Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

"But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. Therefore stay awake--for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning-- lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake."
(Mark 13:1-37 ESV)

Jesus Teaches in the Temple - Part 2

And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that he is one, and there is no other besides him. And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And after that no one dared to ask him any more questions.

And as Jesus taught in the temple, he said, "How can the scribes say that the Christ is the son of David? David himself, in the Holy Spirit, declared,

"'The Lord said to my Lord, Sit at my right hand, until I put your enemies under your feet.'

David himself calls him Lord. So how is he his son?" And the great throng heard him gladly.

And in his teaching he said, "Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes and like greetings in the marketplaces and have the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feasts, who devour widows' houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation."

And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on."
(Mark 12:28-44 ESV)

Jesus Teaches in the Temple

And when evening came they went out of the city. As they passed by in the morning, they saw the fig tree withered away to its roots. And Peter remembered and said to him, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered." And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

And they came again to Jerusalem. And as he was walking in the temple, the chief priests and the scribes and the elders came to him, and they said to him, "By what authority are you doing these things, or who gave you this authority to do them?" Jesus said to them, "I will ask you one question; answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I do these things. Was the baptism of John from heaven or from man? Answer me." And they discussed it with one another, saying, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will say, 'Why then did you not believe him?' But shall we say, 'From man'?"--they were afraid of the people, for they all held that John really was a prophet. So they answered Jesus, "We do not know." And Jesus said to them, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things."

And he began to speak to them in parables. "A man planted a vineyard and put a fence around it and dug a pit for the winepress and built a tower, and leased it to tenants and went into another country. When the season came, he sent a servant to the tenants to get from them some of the fruit of the vineyard. And they took him and beat him and sent him away empty-handed. Again he sent to them another servant, and they struck him on the head and treated him shamefully. And he sent another, and him they killed. And so with many others: some they beat, and some they killed. He had still one other, a beloved son. Finally he sent him to them, saying, 'They will respect my son.' But those tenants said to one another, 'This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.' And they took him and killed him and threw him out of the vineyard. What will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and destroy the tenants and give the vineyard to others. Have you not read this Scripture:

"'The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; this was the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes'?"

And they were seeking to arrest him but feared the people, for they perceived that he had told the parable against them. So they left him and went away.

And they sent to him some of the Pharisees and some of the Herodians, to trap him in his talk. And they came and said to him, "Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone's opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances, but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?" But, knowing their hypocrisy, he said to them, "Why put me to the test? Bring me a denarius and let me look at it." And they brought one. And he said to them, "Whose likeness and inscription is this?" They said to him, "Caesar's." Jesus said to them, "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." And they marveled at him.

And Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection. And they asked him a question, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife, but leaves no child, the man must take the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. There were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and when he died left no offspring. And the second took her, and died, leaving no offspring. And the third likewise. And the seven left no offspring. Last of all the woman also died. In the resurrection, when they rise again, whose wife will she be? For the seven had her as wife."

Jesus said to them, "Is this not the reason you are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the dead being raised, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God spoke to him, saying, 'I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not God of the dead, but of the living. You are quite wrong."
(Mark 11:19-12:27 ESV)

The Cleansing of the Temple

On the following day, when they came from Bethany, he was hungry. And seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. And he said to it, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard it. And they came to Jerusalem. And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold and those who bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. And he would not allow anyone to carry anything through the temple. And he was teaching them and saying to them, "Is it not written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations'? But you have made it a den of robbers." And the chief priests and the scribes heard it and were seeking a way to destroy him, for they feared him, because all the crowd was astonished at his teaching. And when evening came they went out of the city.
(Mark 11:12-19 ESV)

The Triumphal Entry

Now when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethphage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples and said to them, "Go into the village in front of you, and immediately as you enter it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever sat. Untie it and bring it. If anyone says to you, 'Why are you doing this?' say, 'The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately.'" And they went away and found a colt tied at a door outside in the street, and they untied it. And some of those standing there said to them, "What are you doing, untying the colt?" And they told them what Jesus had said, and they let them go. And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!" And he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple. And when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.
(Mark 11:1-11 ESV)

The Squirrel Can Cook – Cheese Steaks

As I said last week, I just love sandwiches! So I thought we’d fix another sandwich for today: the Cheese Steak!

The sandwich we’re making today isn’t quite the traditional Philly Cheese Steak, as those are served on rolls. No, we’ll be making a cheese steak with onions and American cheese on toasted French bread. (Yes, this is the same thick-sliced French bread we used for the Panini last week.)

Our ingredients:

1 pound steak, sliced thin, then chopped into ½ inch pieces (I used sirloin)
½ a medium yellow onion, sliced thin
4 slices of American cheese
4 slices of French bread, lightly toasted


Heat your cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Add 2 tablespoons of oil and sauté your onions until they start to brown. I like to add just a splash of soy sauce whenever I sauté onions, not too much. It adds a nice flavor. Remove the onions from the skillet and allow them to drain on a paper towel. (Sorry, Fred, there’s no photo of the onions cooking.)


Add just a touch more oil to the already hot pan, and toss in the steak, and hit it with a couple of grinds of black pepper. Watch your steak closely, as it will cook quickly, and you don’t want to overcook it. Once the steak is cooked through, but still juicy, separate it, still in the skillet, into two equal portions and place two slices of American cheese on top of each portion. The cheese will melt quickly.


Place each portion on a slice of bread, add the sautéed onions and top with another slice of bread.


Enjoy!

The Squirrel shall not live by bread alone…

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 3/25/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

Our first Nut takes us all the way to Russia, where the game of Russian Roulette was invented. I've checked the rules, and you're supposed to use a revolver. Actually, you not supposed to play at all! But you're definitely not supposed to use a semi-auto pistol... (Tip o' the hat to TurretinFan)

Let's stay in Russia for our second Nut. It gets cold in Russia. Really cold. Some people idle their cars and run the heater to stay warm. Others do other things in cars (usually the back seat) to stay warm. This couple decided to do both of these things to stay warm. Unfortunately, the car was inside a garage. Really, this could have ended better...

Some men shouldn't dance at all... Other men shouldn't dance in public... Most men shouldn't dance with giant bunnies... If a man is scamming an insurance company, claiming to be physically disabled and confined to a wheelchair, he really shouldn't dance in public with a giant bunny...

What makes this Nutworthy, you ask? Well, first off, I think Romanists are a bit nutty to put any stock in, let alone derive any doctrine from, Marian apparitions. However, if you're going to be nutty, let's be consistently nutty. There's no less evidence for these apparitions then for, say, Guadalupe, Fátima, or Lourdes, right?

Nobody wants a surprise visit from the police. Even if you're not doing anything wrong, it can be worrisome, as well as just an unwanted interruption. But, when you're a law-abiding elderly Brooklyn couple who have been visited by the police more then 50 times in the last 8 years, you're probably pretty annoyed by now. I think more then a cheesecake is needed. (And didn't any of the cops ever question dispatch? "Excuse me, what was that address again? Isn't that the Martin's place?")

Welsh, the Celtic language native to Wales in the UK, is only spoken by about 20% of the population of Wales. But that's often going to be a very confused 20%! It seems that roadsigns in Wales are printed in both English and Welsh, and the road sign folks don't always get the Welsh part right...

That's all the Nuttiness I've got for you this week.

I'm Hoping That They Are Wrong...

Since I'm not posting anything substantive today, I thought I'd point you towards some stuff that I think is worth reading. The Question of the Day seems to be, "Will America keep having elections?" and/or "Will America's elections remain free and fair?" We've seen ruthless power grabs in other countries, why are so many so certain that it cannot happen here?

Thomas Sowell writes, "What will it matter if Obama's current approval rating is below 50 percent among the current voting public, if he can ram through new legislation to create millions of new voters by granting citizenship to illegal immigrants? That can be enough to make him a two-term president, who can appoint enough Supreme Court justices to rubber-stamp further extensions of his power."

Rush Limbaugh said yesterday, "They won because they held Congress and the presidency, and therein lies the lesson: We need to defeat these bastards. We need to wipe them out. We need to chase them out of town. But we need to do more than that. We need to elect conservatives. If there are Republican primaries, elect conservatives and then defeat the Democrats -- every last one of them -- and then we start the repeal process. And by "repeal," I mean use every single legislative and bureaucratic tactic we can muster to obstruct, derail, and defeat them. Just saying "repeal" does not make it happen. We're going to have to turn out en masse in November and stop these people. As you have seen, the law will not stop them, the Constitution will not stop them, hoping that they will do the right thing will not stop them because their definition of "the right thing" has nothing in common with ours."

Whistleblower Magazine shows, step by step, how the socialists (I refuse to call them "Democrats" anymore) could steal the next elections, and end liberty in the United States for the foreseeable future.

America stands at a crossroads. Liberty hangs in the balance. I really really don't want to say, "I told you so!" on my way to the gulag.

What A Squirrel Believes – Technical Difficulties… Please Stand By

I’ve long collected statements of faith. I’ve got a file on my computer containing about 35 orthodox Christian statements of faith, everything from Grace Community Church’s 19 page What We Teach, to Truth for Life’s short What We Believe; and, of course, the 1925, 1963, and 2000 versions of the Baptist Faith & Message of the Southern Baptist Convention. A personal favorite is the Articles of Faith of the General Association of Regular Baptist Churches.

I like orthodox statements of faith. I like to know where a person, group, or organization stands on the doctrines of the Christian Faith. As I said when I first broached this topic last week, I can’t understand why anyone would obfuscate their beliefs, except for nefarious purposes. And, as I said last week, I’m working on composing a statement of faith for A Squirrel In Babylon.

Well, like most things, writing a statement of faith is harder than it looks. Oh, it isn’t that I don’t know what I believe, or even that I can’t put what I believe into words. No, the problem is that I’m finding it hard to be concise in putting my beliefs into words. I have a new admiration for those who wrote all the statements of faith that I’ve collected. It’s hard to be brief and comprehensive at the same time!

All of this is just to say that it’s taking me a little longer then I’d planned to get the first article posted. Please be patient, and stay tuned…

The Squirrel Can Cook - Meatloaf Panini

Sandwiches are wonderful things. There are so many ingredients and ways to prepare them. They can be hot, cold, toasted, or grilled. Sandwiches are just great.

Today we’re going to make a Meatloaf Panino. (Panini is plural folks!) Although in Italy, panini are not always grilled, and are often made with rolls, but, here in America, a panino is essentially a dressed up grilled-cheese sandwich with a gourmet flair.

For our ingredients we need meatloaf (this is essentially the same meatloaf I made here, but I used matzah meal instead of oatmeal for my filler. It gives it a finer grain, which is better for sandwiches.), thick sliced bread, butter, cheese, a nice mustard, and Wickles’ Hoagie & Sub Relish.


The first question is; what kind of sandwich press are we going to use? I don’t have a sandwich press, per se, but I do have a George Forman grill, and I’ve found that it makes an excellent sandwich press for Panini! Like Alton Brown, I love multi-taskers. :o) So, plug in your George and get it hot.


Next, butter your bread. Don’t be shy; give one side of each slice a good coating. I then stack my bread, butter sides together, and construct my sandwich on top of the stack. Then, when I place it on the grill, the top is right there, ready and waiting.


In constructing the sandwich, begin & end with cheese. Cheese is the glue that holds your panino together. A layer of mustard, followed by the relish, and then top it off with more cheese. Now we’re ready to grill our sandwich.


Place the sandwich on the grill, and place the top on… well, on top, and close the grill. Grill the sandwich until golden-brown and crispy, which takes about 4 minutes on my grill.


Enjoy!

The Squirrel shall not live by bread alone…

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 3/18/10

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

First, we begin with an update. In a previous Nut Cache, we had the story of the brutal meat-thermometer attack. If you recall, a man was attacked after complaining about a woman talking on her cell phone during a movie. Well, looks like a suspect has been arrested. I'll keep tracking this one, as I'm hoping to find out just why someone would be packing a meat thermometer in the first place...

I remember my Dad telling me that you are much more likely to be killed this way then you are to win the lottery. I don't play the lottery, and I admit I've never really worried about having a plane crash on top of me... until now. It is sad, the jogger left behind a wife and two kids, please say a prayer for his family.

Parking regulations should join death and taxes on the list of things that you will never avoid. All sorts of jokes are coming to mind as I read this story, but the writers of the New York Daily News already used most of the really funny ones...

If you've spent any time driving, you've had a flat tire or two. No fun. And, if you've ever watched a high-speed chase on CNN or Fox News, they you're probably familur with a device called a spike stip, used by police officers to flatten the tires of fleeing bad guys. All well and good. But what happens when the "tire deflation device" decides to deploy itself? Nothing good, that's for sure!

Rule #1 -- Do not drink and drive.
Rule #2 -- If you do drink and drive, then don't get caught.
Rule #3 -- If you do drink and drive, and you do get caught, then don't show up for your court date so drunk you can't stand up in the courtroom. Judges tend to frown on this.

Did you know that Queen Elezabeth II invented the Telephone? It seems that the British educational system is just as flawed as the American educational system. At least, here in America, we all know that the first man on the moon was Captain William "Buck" Rogers!

So, you want to get high, but you don't want to be alone. So, you text a few friends and invite them over to share your drugs. I mean, it's good to share, right? Only, you really ought to make sure that the phone number you text your invite to actually belongs to your friend, and not to a member of the Distirct III Drug Task Force. Say it with me, "That's why they call it 'Dope'!"

That's all the Nuts I've gathered for this week. Until next time...

The Calvinist Menace In Our Midst

It seems that, like mice in the kitchen, the Calvinist vermin are infesting Southern Baptist churches in Tennessee. What is to be done about this plague? Earlier this month, Tom Ascol blogged on a memo that was being circulated amongst Southern Baptist Churches in Tennessee advising on how to discover, and get rid of, Calvinists in the pulpit.

While many of the “Red Flags” outlined in the memo are absolute distortions of the Calvinist position, some are quite laughable.

Such as: “Use of the ESV Study Bible.” (Whew! I use an NASB MacArthur Study Bible!) -Or- “Look for the men they quote in their sermons: do they mainly quote Calvinists such as John Piper, R. C. Sproul, James White, Jonathon Edwards and others.” (Can I still quote Calvinists such as C. H. Spurgeon, J. P. Boyce, Alistair Begg, or John MacArthur?) –Or- “Tendency toward a highly logical systematic theology…” (As opposed to a highly illogical systematic theology?)

Others are self-contradictory, like: “Moving the church to become under Elder Rule.” -And- “Tendency to use their pastoral authority against any member that questions their reform theology or their direction.” Well, which is it? Are they looking to share power with other God-gifted men, or are they pushing to be dictators?

Some are just plain silly, like: “Adding other belief statements or confessions to what their church believes, such as: 1st London Baptist Confession (1689), 2nd London Baptist Confession (1644), New Hampshire Confession, and Abstract Principles.” (Yes, I noticed the dates, too…) Oh, please! The Abstract of Principles was the first statement of faith adopted by Southern Baptists in 1858! Are we never to look at what Southern Baptists believed in the past? Are we to ignore all history? There seems to be an ongoing effort to deny any and all traces of Southern Baptists’ Calvinist heritage, and this is wrong.

All of this is troubling, but, what troubles me the most is the assertion that Calvinist pastoral candidates will have a “Tendency to be evasive about their theology during the pastor search process. They will say things like: ‘I believe and preach the historic doctrines of Southern Baptists just like many of the great Baptist preachers of the past.’ Many laymen will be satisfied in hearing the statement, ‘I believe and preach the Bible.’ Without more intense questioning, the committee will not be fulfilling the sacred duty their church entrusted to them.”

The memo was even accompanied by a “Belief Statement and Pastor’s Pledge” to be signed by the pastor, the chair of the pastor search committee & the chairman of the Deacons:

“I, (pastor), state that my theological beliefs and practices are in accord with _____ Baptist Church. I wish to state that I do not hold to a reformed or Calvinist doctrine and the Pastor Search Committee has questioned me comprehensively in this area of concern.

“With integrity of heart, I have heard the statements of the Pastor Search Committee and can say with certainty that if my theology ever changes to a Calvinist doctrine, I will share with the Deacons my new beliefs and work with them and the personel (sic) committee in transitioning me and my family to a new place of ministry that is more in line with my new theological stance.”

I could never sign such a document, as I would never hide from any search committee any of my theological positions & I agree wholeheartedly that every pastor search committee should thoroughly question every candidate, especially those under serious consideration. No pastoral candidate should ever be anything less than totally up front about any doctrinal position which he holds. Of course, I have no way of knowing how pervasive this “evasion” of search committee questions really is. And, as delusional as the rest of this “red flag” list is, this “evasion” may just be another delusion. However, the point remains that every man of God should be of sound and open doctrine.

With that in mind, I have decided to include a Statement of Faith here at A Squirrel in Babylon. I will be building up this Statement of Faith over the course of several, if not many, weeks in a series of blog posts. That way, I can expand upon each doctrinal statement, providing both my reasoning as well as scriptural proofs. I have no intention of writing a full blown systematic theology, but I never want to leave anyone in any doubt as to exactly what I believe, or why I believe it!

Stay tuned…

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 3/11/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

What is it about McDonald's? Is it something in the food, or just the clientèle they attract? One The Nut Cache contained a story about a woman calling 911 because the McDonald's she visited was out of McNuggets. Now, from Loveland Colorado, we have a story about a an 85-year-old man being beaten up over a parking space. Total Depravity, anyone?

43-year-old giant fish eats 25 goldfish every-other day. Yep, a fish story you can believe in! But, that's not all! I've got another fish story... well... um... a notfish story... Sometimes, fish isn't fish! It seems that a sushi bar in Los Angeles has been busted... for serving whale at $60/plate!

(h.t. to Phil Johnson via Twitter for this one) It isn't safe to shush someone who rudely talks on her cell phone at the movies. Her two male friends may attack you with a meat thermometer. Yes, a meat thermometer! (Notable from the comments section, "Well, thank goodness he didn't get shot, since Californians are so "concerned" about gun ownership. Now the State Legislature can draft a bill banning unregistered meat thermometers in California.")

This is hard to accept, but Chuck Norris turned 70 years old yesterday. Yeah, I know. Me, too. But, guess what? The classic fight scene with Bruce Lee in Meng long guo jiang, was 38 years ago! Happy Birthday, Chuck!

I've been sitting on this one for a while. It seems that animal rights activist are making an effort to force one of my rodential brethren, Punxsutawney Phil, into the unemployment line. Let's face it, there's not many jobs out there for groundhogs, and it just breaks my heart that Phil might lose his job to automation...

Who knew that you could get almost $1000 a piece for two empty glass vials. Well, I think they were most likely empty, but the seller claimed that each vial contained a ghost... yup, you can now buy ghosts, and they don't go cheap. Two "ghosts" just sold at auction for $1,983. Really? Can you say, "Sucker!"? I knew you could...

From one exorcist to another. I seems that the Vatican's Chief Exorcist thinks that the devil is a work in the highest reaches of the Roman Catholic church, including "cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon". I imagine Huss, Luther, Ridley, Lattimer, and many others would agree...

That's all the nuts I've scrounged for this week. Until next time!

The Squirrel Can Cook - Chili Dogs

I know, I know… chili dogs are not fancy or difficult. But they are darned tasty, and are on my list of “comfort foods.” They’re also relatively quick and easy, and we all know that time in the kitchen is often limited by other obligations. I’ve got some tips that I hope will make your next chili dogs just a little bit more special.

First off, get good hotdogs! Cheap hotdogs just don’t taste very good, but premium hotdogs are not really that much more expensive. I like Ballpark all-beef hotdogs, myself. Hebrew National are also very good, all-beef hotdogs. In my opinion, chicken or turkey hotdogs are just vile, anyway.

Next, the chili: While I make a pretty good homemade chili, I don’t like it on chili dogs. I prefer Nalley’s Original Chili. Nalley’s just blends really well with the flavor of the hotdogs. One 15-ounce can does 4 chili dogs, and 4 chili dogs, around our house, serves two.


Arrange four hotdog buns on a baking sheet, and preheat your broiler. If you have a choice, use the medium setting. Meanwhile, place 4 hotdogs in a medium saucepan and fill with cold water to approximately 2 ½ to 3 inches in depth (2 to 3 cups of water.) Place pan over high heat, bring to a boil, and boil hotdogs for 4 minutes.

While the hotdogs are boiling, heat the chili in the microwave, according to the directions. With my microwave, it takes 2 minutes on high, stir, 2 more minutes on high, and we’re ready to go.


Arrange the hotdogs on the buns, then spoon the chili evenly over the hotdogs, top with cheese (I used Velveeta slices, but grated chedder also works very well) and place under the broiler for a couple of minutes, until the cheese is nice and melted.


I very strongly recommend that you eat your chili dogs with a knife and fork. You really shouldn’t try to pick these up and eat them by hand. (Your drycleaner may differ.) Enjoy!

The Squirrel shall not live by bread alone!

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 3/4/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

This article describes a terrible brutal attack. That isn't amusing at all. But, if you read all the way through to the end, you'll see that the jailers have had to turn away this guy's patients while he's been in jail. Talk about patient loyalty!

Why don't we stay in jail for the next nut. In fact, let us stay in Kentucky. I'm pretty much in favor of the 2nd Amendment rights of individuals, but, having said that, I admit that there are some people who should never be given a gun... or a badge and a gun.

Oh, sure. One more jail story! Jail is not where you want to spend your wedding night. My advice? Do not get drunk and try to drive over your new spouse's old lovers. Just sayin'...


And the Rodent Uprising continues. While many of our UK cousins might think that their Parliament, like our Congress, is full of rats, it turns out that the place the rats are meeting is actually infested with mice. Actually, the problem seems to be with the whole of London's West End.

Who knew? But there seem to have been a whole rash of attacks by lost Emus. (See here & here) From Pennsylvania to Texas, these large, flightless birds have been causing havoc. Most have been Tazed and captured, but at least one emu in Texas has died. I'd say, "Watch the skies!" but they are flightless birds, so, "Watch the... highways!"

Enough nuttiness for now! Until next time...