Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 12/18/2010

A Saturday Nut Special

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

I can't tell you how many people sent me links to this story! (Rachael Starke was the first, that much I'm sure of, but hat tips all 'round!) Now, honestly, can anyone really blame the squirrel for his reaction? I mean, who likes to get barged in on while they are in the bathroom? How rude! (And then there's the fact that the cop needed backup to deal with a squirrel... I'm seeing new required courses at police academies in every state except Hawaii) (Hawaii has no squirrels, so it isn't an issue there... just FYI...)

It is Christmas time, and, around our land, the scenes of Christmas are everywhere: Children building snowmen in the yard; Christmas trees at city halls and county courthouses; and, on the streets of Santa Maria, California, cowboys lassoing reindeer... It seems that a reindeer (name withheld for privacy reasons) escaped from the Hopper Brothers' Christmas tree lot in the early morning hours of December 9th. Unlike certain police officers, the cowboy who responded didn't call for backup, he just roped that reindeer and tied her up to a lamp post. After saving the day, he rode off into the sunset. Bystanders were heard to say, "Who was that masked man?"

" was the huge, unblinking eyes that made a Washington state trooper suspicious..." Yes, it is true, using your kids doll in an attempt to use the carpool lane while driving by yourself is a bad idea, as an unidentified Seattle driver recently discovered. I ask you, what does this man's actions teach his children about obeying the laws? "The driver was cited for the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane violation." Well, at least he can show his kids what happens to people who break the law...

In the Advice to Weirdos category: be sure to check the cemetery for security cameras before getting naked. (Better yet, just please keep your clothes on...) Turns out the weirdo photographed naked by security cameras in a Mississippi grave yard was just trying to take pictures of spirits. I'm wondering, myself, about the type and quantity of spirits involved...

A few weeks ago, I decried the costs involved in the modern wedding. Now, from Illinois, comes the story of a woman who laid out $95,942 in wedding preparations. Her fiancée called off the wedding, and she wants her money back. So she's suing him for reimbursement of her expenses ($30,000 for a banquet center rental, $12,000 for flowers, $10,000 for the orchestra and nearly $5,400 for wedding dress, etc. (An orchestra? Really?)) The lawsuit paperwork delivered to the ex-groom also included a note which said, "Please be advised that I am not still willing to marry you." Dude, even if you lose, I think you might just be better off without this one... (Oh, and, yeah, she's a lawyer...)

I've done weddings in churches and in rented halls. I've been to weddings in parks and in private homes. Never heard of a wedding in a diner before, but I like it. I like it for many reasons: 1) the diner is the bride and grooms favorite hang-out, and they have spent a lot of time learning about each other there; 2) the wedding certainly cost a lot less than $95,942; and 3) everything goes well with bacon and eggs!

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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