Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 10/7/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

Two of today's nuts came from my friend Tucsonmon. Thanks, T-mom!

[HT T-mom #1] Cara Watts did not quite know what to think when she heard her dog, McCoy, yelp. Then he ran inside and, she said, “I could barely recognise him at first because his hair was standing on end. I was baffled - I had no idea what had happened to him. I went outside to see if anyone else was around and then I clocked his favourite lamp post. The cover was missing and the wires were all hanging out. It didn't take long to figure out what had happened.” Ah, yes, the favourite lamp post… I’m guessing that no one had ever explained to McCoy the dog that liquid conducts electricity very well…

Now, this story from Pennsylvania has me a bit confused. The story says that two women in their early thirties were arrested for disorderly conduct because they arranged a fight between their daughters, aged 11 and 12 respectively. Now what I don’t understand is this; we’re the girls fighting about something already, and the mothers were trying to get the matter settled? Or was this some sort of preteen Fight Club? This is one of those stories where I really wish they’d given us a lot more information. I’ll keep an eye on this one for updates…

[HT T-mom #2] The Maricopa County jail is surrounded by five fences, each 15 feet high and topped with razor wire. It seems that 24-year-old inmate Clayton Thornburg really really wanted to be outside those fences. He wanted to be outside those fences so bad that he actually managed to climb over all of them. In the process, the razor wire stripped him of his jail uniform and even his underwear, so that, by the time he got outside the last fence, he was dressed in only a pair of jail-issue pink socks. The razor wire also left, I’m sure, a cut or two, since we are told that he required medical attention after he was recaptured. Sometimes we read stories about daring and clever jailbreaks, but most jailbreak stories we read stories are like this one…

When I first heard about it, sometime last spring, I told you that I was excited about the remake of Hawaii Five-O, and how I hoped it would be a good show. Having now watched a couple of episodes, from happy to report that I think they’re doing it right. The writing is been pretty good, as has the acting. But, apparently, the on-set security isn’t all that hot. It seems that producers recently had to issue a memo warning the cast and crew not to leave their valuables lying around on set. "I am sorry to report,” the memo stated, “that theft has become a serious problem on the set." Call me old fashioned, but I would think that stealing from Steve McGarrett would not be the smartest thing in the world to do…

I must say that I’m disappointed. There was a time when thugs were thugs. There was a time when, if you didn’t pay the money owed to a criminal, the best you could look forward to was a busted kneecap, and the worst was a shallow grave. But, it seems, that time is past. When this Florida drug dealer didn’t get his money, he didn’t bust a kneecap or drive by shooting out windows. No, what he did was heartlessly go after the shrubbery. Yes, that’s right, the shrubbery. Police in Bradenton, Florida recently apprehended Paul Ewing for spraying down the plants and flowers of a man who owed him $250 for drugs with Roundup weed killer. He even tossed balloons filled with weed killer into the yard. Now, wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall in the jail the first time somebody asks him, “Hey, what are you in for?” I mean, what's he gonna say? "First-degree premeditated herbicide"?

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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3 comments:

Craig and Heather said...

I suppose he could say he bushwacked someone . . .

Craig

Craig and Heather said...

A FATAL BUSHWACKING!!!

Craig

Bennett Willis said...

The dog reminds me of a saying: "Some of us benefit from the experience of others. The rest of us pee on the electric fence ourselves."