Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 9/9/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

A few weeks ago, I saw this story about a restaurant in Germany advertising for donated human body parts to be cooked and eaten. At that time, I determined that this was a story that was just a little too sick and twisted to be included in the Nut Cache. However, it now turns out that this was a hoax perpetuated by the German Vegetarian Society to raise awareness of the “evils of meat-eating.” Well, I would like to raise the awareness of vegetarians everywhere to the truth of Genesis 9:3…

From ghoulish cuisine we now turn to ghoulish education. It seems that a professor at the University of Baltimore is teaching a class on zombies. No, it isn’t a comparative religion class on Haitian voodoo in the anthropology department; it is an English class, English 333 to be exact, a class on zombie literature. You see, the University of Baltimore is now offering students the chance to minor and pop culture. In English 333, the students will get to watch 16 classics on the films and read comic books about zombies. If it is done right, this could be a good class. I remember taking Literature of the American West when I was in high school, and it was one of the toughest English classes I had. But still I would’ve loved to have been able to get credit for watching horror movies when I was in college…

You may recall a few months back when I wrote a post that discussed, among other things, the importance of primary source documents in the work of the historian. Well it seems that the folks who make the rugs for the White House need to spend a little bit more time looking at primary source documents as well. During President Obama’s recent vacationed to Martha's Vineyard, the Oval Office got redecorated. Included in that redecoration was a new rug. On the rug, surrounding the presidential seal, are several quotes which President Obama selected as being some of his inspirational favorites: quotes from Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. Imagine the embarrassment when it was discovered that the Martin Luther King Jr. quote was actually uttered by Theodore Parker, an abolitionist and Unitarian minister who died in 1860, right before the Civil War. Ooops…

When you set out to undertake a criminal enterprise, one of your primary concerns really should be some sort of plan to avoid being caught. It is for this reason that criminals often wear nondescript clothing, hats, sunglasses, or masks; they do not want to be recognized. Police officers are trained help witnesses remember the important details that can help identify criminal suspects. Things like height, weight, clothing, eye color, skin color, hair color, and distinguishing marks like tattoos or visible piercings. And smart criminals know that these are the very things they need to disguise. But most criminals are not smart. Committing armed robbery while wearing a red and black checkered coat and with “get money” not only tattooed on the back of your hands but shaved into your hair makes you pretty easy to recognize. Seattle police really had no trouble finding this guy… (HT Julie at Herding Grasshoppers)

The Lewis and Clark County sheriff at first thought it was a joke. And why wouldn’t he? I mean who texts the county sheriff to set up a drug buy? But it turns out that it wasn’t a joke, it was just another dumb criminal. In this case a couple of teenage boys who accidentally sent the text to the sheriff instead of their usual drug dealer. And the shores department detective, posing as the drug dealer, showed up at the appointed meeting place, made contact with the teens, and identified himself, the “boys turned white and their knees began to wobble.” One of them even passed out. After speaking with the boy’s parents, law enforcement officials decided not to issue any citations, but rather let the parents take care of the problem. Hey, this is Montana, and many folks around here haven’t forgotten what parents are for…

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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7 comments:

threegirldad said...

"Every moving thing that is alive (except for squirrels) shall be food for you; I give all to you (except for squirrels), as I gave the green plant."

BSV (Babylonian Squirrel Version)

;-)

The Squirrel said...

Yes, threegirldad, squirrels are friends, not food...

""Whoever sheds man's (or squirrel's) blood, By man (or squirrel) his blood shall be shed, For in the image of God He made man (and squirrel)." - Genesis 9:6 BSV (Babylonian Squirrel Version)

Squirrel

Herding Grasshoppers said...

HA HA HA HA HA! Love that list tidbit about the boys texting the sheriff. Hope their folks are on the ball.

Julie

Robert Warren said...

Hi Squirrel:

Do you use speech-to-text software to compose your posts? I have been trying to otherwise figure the etymology of this possible fat-finger: "...make shoe pretty easy to recognize..."

threegirldad said...

"make shoe" -> "makeshoe" -> "makes you"

Maybe...

The Squirrel said...

"Do you use speech-to-text software to compose your posts?"

Why yes I do :-)

(fixed it! Thanks!)

Squirrel

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Oh that's funny... I noticed that too and thought you were making a joke.

But then, with a HoH kid, we run into things like that a lot.

Weenie Dave Ache Asian