Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 2/10/2011


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

I carry an organ donor card in my wallet, as, I'm sure, do many of you. Once God has determined that I no longer need my heart, longs, corneas, or whatever, I'm more than happy to see them used by someone else, if needed. Many of us know people who's lives have been prolonged by the transplant of donated organs. But now, from Rome, comes this report that Joseph "Benny the Rat" Ratzinger, a long-time vocal proponent of organ donations, is now too "holy" to have his organs passed to others after his demise. I wonder if the Dalai Lama is an organ donor?

Okay, let's get the silly Romanist superstition out of the way and move on to other odd and funny bits. From Dearborn Heights, Michigan, comes this tale of the "miraculous" appearance of the figure of a woman seen in a chunk of ice formed from a dripping faucet. As we've discussed before, recognizing the human face or figure in random natural formations, such as melted wax from a candle, ice flows from a leaky faucet, and grilled-cheese sandwiches is called "Pareidolia." It's not a miracle, it's just what lets you see Dumbo in a cloud as you lay on your back in the grass on a warm summer's day...

Oh, okay, okay... one more on the Romanists... It seems that there is now an iPhone app for those times when you just can't make it to confession. You're supposed to keep track of your sins on you iPhone, so you can let your priest know about them later. I wonder how many people will mess up the app and end up tweeting their sins or posting their confession as their Facebook status? This could get very amusing...

When robbing a bank, the miscreants, if they are any kind of smart at all, will do something to disguise their identity: hats, glasses, fashionable boots... yes, I said "fashionable boots." Since last July, Federal and State law enforcement people have been trying to capture the elusive "Tootsie Bandit" who robbed banks dressed as a woman. Well, they think they've finally caught their "man." You'd think a guy dressed as a woman would be easier to catch, but, alas, we are talking California...

From fashionable shod bandits, we now turn to just plain dumb criminals. Listen, when you rob a house, it really isn't a good idea to plug your cell phone in to charge. And it is an even worse idea to actually leave your plugged-in cell phone behind when you depart with your ill-gotten loot. At least the dumb ones are easy to catch!

From the Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? department comes a story from Cleveland, Ohio, of a schoolyard beating, an arrest, a trial, and a ticked-off jury. It took the jury less than 30 minutes of deliberation to issue a finding of "Not Guilty" in the trial of 19-year-old Demrick McCloud. Jurors were so annoyed by the total lack of evidence against Mr. McCloud that several of them want to donate the $100 they were paid for serving on the jury to him. Several are also writing letters to the police and the prosecutors for the shoddy job they did in the investigation. Indeed, 9 of the 12 jurors doubt that the schoolyard assault even took place. It doesn't seem that the police did their job at all. "A policeman's job is only easy in a police state." - Charlton Heston as Mike Vargas in Touch of Evil, Universal Pictures, 1958. Who will guard the guardians, indeed?

When you take a taxi or hired car to the airport, always make sure you double check the charges. Tony Chan of Hong Kong didn't pay much attention when he paid his driver for the trip to the airport in New York in 2008. But his bank sure noticed! They phoned him to find out if he really paid over three quarters of a million dollars on a limousine. Of course, he hadn't. No problem with evidence in this case. The driver plead guilty to credit-card fraud this week. So, always check those receipts!

There's been a lot of snow across America this winter. Several big snow storms have made the news. And, from those storms, legends are born. Like David Wells of Chicago, who saw, on video from his home security cameras, of a woman "borrowing" the snow shovel off of his front steps to dig out her car. That would have been fine, except she then walked off... with his shovel. In a fit of pure evil genius, Mr. Wells decided to go bury her car in snow with his snowblower. Ah, revenge really is a dish best served cold...

Keep those Nuts and letters coming...

post signature

5 comments:

Doug Hibbard said...

Of course the Pope is still an organ donor---how many Catholic Churches have you seen with a rock band?

As to the Dalai Lama, he gave last time, so he's good.

Tom Chantry said...

re: stolen shovel - only in Chicago!

When I lived there the debate was all about "dibs" on parking spaces. In the winter residents shovel out their own curbside parking spaces, then save them with lawn chairs. It's technically not legal, but it makes sense because the city doesn't clear the curbside parking lanes, and there is usually no option for parking.

Best story I heard was a guy on the radio bragging about what he and his neighbor did one year when someone in a big lexus threw both their chairs up on the snowbank and parked in both spots. Together they buried his car, but then they thought that wasn't enough. They brought buckets of water from their houses and soaked the snow, which of course froze solid. He said the Lexus remained for three weeks, but it was worth the loss of their parking for that long.

The Squirrel said...

Doug - "last time" LOL

Tom - I like the whole buckets-of-water-ice-coating thing. The very soul of evil!

And it seems that the Confessional App has been banned by the Vaican already.

Squirrel

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Took me a minute to catch on to the organ/rock band... HA HA HA!

And the Lexus... now that's evil genius!

Our neighbors were robbed last summer and the thief dropped a cell phone. It may also have been stolen, but there were pics on it that the thief had taken of himself (maybe with a partner?) robbing other houses.

Busted!!!

Julie

Everyday Mommy said...

Have you heard about the new Padre Pio app for iPhone? It's called Stigmatic. Look under utilities.