Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 11/4/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

I’ve never understood the pleasure that some people take in jumping out of perfectly good aircraft that are going to return safely to the airport. Don’t get me wrong, if there is something wrong with the aircraft, and it is not going to land safely at an airport, then I am all in favor of parachutes! I’ve just never seen the attraction of jumping out of an airplane for fun, is all. But, maybe when I’m 85, I’ll think differently. I'm just glad that 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 don't list "enjoys skydiving" as a qualification for pastor...

To the best of my knowledge, this was not a relative... (I note that the article says nothing about the condition of the squirrel.)



Most of the time, cops spot criminals by their behavior… they just act “hinky.” But not Vincent John Sullivan, age 64, he was calm and cool. After robbing the bank, he walked down the street to a coffee shop and ordered breakfast. After eating, he had the waitress call him a cab to take him to a hotel, but with a stop for some cigarettes. Right after he left the coffee shop, the police showed up with pictures of the bank robber. Police were waiting for the cab when it pulled into the hotel. Oh, yeah, this all happened in Missoula, where even the bank robbers are laid-back… (& it made the national news wires)

When my Daddy taught me to drive, he told me to always make sure that the vehicle wasn’t going to roll after it was parked. Put it in 1st gear and set the brakes – if it is an automatic, put it in park and set the brakes – if it is on a really steep incline, chock the wheels. These lessons were reinforced when I took Drivers’ Education, and reinforced again when I took CDL training. Well, there is a Spokane fire truck driver who didn’t quite learn that lesson...

I remember reading a chapter in a self-defense manual years ago on improvised weaponry. The author gave all sorts of tips about how, if you were caught unarmed, many ordinary everyday objects could be used as weapons. I wonder if this 16-year-old would-be robber had read that book when he tried to use a bottle of salad dressing as a weapon to rob a convenience store. The store owner didn’t have to improvise a weapon, he just pulled his handgun. Never bring salad dressing to a gunfight…

Southern boys are taught to be polite, and to always say “Please,” and “Thank you.” But Mrs. Thomas thought that these two Fayetteville, NC boys weren’t all that polite when they left her a “Thank you” note after robbing her house. “Thanks. We love the items we found today. Love u." was scrawled on the wall of her hall. Dajuan Marquis Avant, age 19, and Darrell I. Sturdivant Jr., also 19, were caught with the goods, and have been charged. Really, and thank you note after a burglary isn’t a very good idea…

With the election just passed, I thought I should bring to your attention some of the measures that were on the ballot that you might have missed. In Pittsfield, Massachusetts, voters rejected a measure that would have allowed women the same right to walk around shirtless that men have. (But, really, guys… put a shirt on!) And Denver, Colorado voters rejected a proposal that would have established an official commission to track extraterrestrials and collect and catalog the observations and reported sightings of extraterrestrials in the Denver area. (The scary thing is that 20,162 people voted in favor…)

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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2 comments:

Rabbit said...

I don't know what's more amusing, Gene...the Nut Cache, or that picture of John MacArthur and the squirrel over in your sidebar. Thanks for this morning's entertainment! Be sure to read the comments in the fire truck article as readers rip one another to shreds over who has the right to offer any criticism.

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Oh gee... I missed the comments (probably for the best!) but I forwarded the link to a fire-fighter friend.

Ya gotta love the hungry bank robber. Nonchalant or just really, really stupid? (I'm going with the second option.)

Thanks for the fun,

Julie