Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 8/5/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

I'm sure that Social Security and retirement pension fraud is much more common than we'd like to admit. An elderly person dies, but the family doesn't report the death and keeps collecting the retirement benefits. Seems like a pretty sweet deal, in the beginning, I'm sure. But there's a big problem. The deceased person keeps getting, officially, "older." After a certain age, "old" becomes newsworthy. Take the case of Japan's oldest living person, Sogen Kato, who was about to turn 111 years old (an age of Hobbitual significance.) Government officials wanted to honor the eleventy-one year old, but family members wouldn't let them in to see him. After repeated attempts, the government officials got very suspicious and got a warrant, or the Japanese equivalent thereof, and entered the home. Sure enough, they found Sogen Kato's mummified remains, dressed in pajamas, hidden under a blanket on a bed in an unused bedroom. It is estimated that he's been dead for about 30 years, and that the family collected more than $100,000 in benefits since he died. Charges of fraud are pending... (h.t. Phil Johnson)

I have friends who are police officers. I have had them tell me that one of the things that raises suspicion in their minds is when they see a driver who is trying too hard to obey traffic laws. It seems that, when someone is doing something illegal, they tend to be ultra-careful in trying not to get pulled over. And, sometimes, when that fails, and the police do try to pull them over, they take off at high speed and end up staring on "Most Shocking Police Chases." Note the sequence: obey traffic laws until the cops try to pull you over, and then make a run for it. Well, This motorist didn't get the memo: 78 mph in a 55 mph zone until the cops tried to pull her over, then, without stopping for police, she drove home, obeying the speed limit and all stop signs and such. Weird.

I understand that the grey squirrel is not native to the British Isles and is becoming a pest and pushing out the native Red Squirrels. I understand that something needs to be done, and I understand that sometimes what needs to be done results in the demise of grey squirrels. My head understands, but my heart... Anyway, I understand all that, but this is just wrong!!. Wrong, I say! Squirrel's are friends, not food! Even pest squirrels...

We've all had complaints at fast food restaurants. I've had to go back because of messed-up orders, I've even called to talk to the manager once or twice. But, mostly, I try to be understanding and cut them a break, as we've all screwed up a work a time or two. But I'm sure the manager of this Atlanta-area Wendy's didn't quite know what to do about the complaints he was getting. You see, his restaurant had been robbed, and that was the source of the complaints. The robber was calling to say that he hadn't gotten enough money when he robbed the place. Sad to put so much effort into taking something that isn't yours only to be disappointed with how little there was to steal. Maybe next time, he should just call ahead. I'm sure they'd be glad to have more money, and a few police officers, waiting by the time he got there...

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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5 comments:

Highland Host said...

Grey Squirrel is delicious.

Jeff B said...

Ground squirrel, not so much.

The Squirrel said...

I should have know that the squirrel meat story would be the one everyone would comment on...

Oh, well...

Squirrel

Herding Grasshoppers said...

These criminals... not so smart!

Robert Warren said...

Re: really old.

I'm reminded of the case of some old Soviets living in the Urals who had reportedly reached ages of 120+. They were even featured in a Dannon yogurt commercial. It turns out they took their dead fathers' identity during WWII to evade conscription.