The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 6/3/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

"Swiss federal law states that public nudity is not a crime." That's as may be, but the people of the Swiss canton of Appenzell don't much care for naked people hiking around their mountains. Can't say I'd care too much for that myself. Well, they outlawed it, but now the courts have said that naked hiking is okay. Is it bad of me to wish them bad weather?

Born in the same hospital on the same day, Steven and Amy grew up going to the same school and church. They started dating in high school. Now they're getting married. I congratulate them and wish them all the best. And, while Steven will probably never forget Amy's birthday, I'm betting he'll still forget their anniversary...

It's easy to get stung on Wall Street. Most people might expect to encounter swarms of money-hungry investment bankers and stock brokers. But, it was Memorial Day, and the banks and brokerage houses were all closed. No, there were no swarms of bankers and stock brokers, but there was a swarm of bees that congregated in the doorway of an Italian restaurant. Hey, who doesn't like Italian...

Some rocks are, well, cheaper then dirt. Other rocks are more costly. And the value of a few very rare rocks is out of this world. The rarest rocks in the world are not diamonds or rubies, they are moon rocks. All together, Apollo astronauts brought 842 pounds of moon rocks to earth. Most of those rocks are still locked away at NASA facilities and are reserved for scientific study, but some 200 samples were mounted for display and presented to state governments and friendly foreign governments. Some of those display rocks, valued in the millions of dollars, have gone missing.

On Tuesday, Dr. Al Mohler discussed children who fail to grow up and become responsible. Indeed, we see more and more young "adults" who still live with their parents long after they should be supporting themselves. One of the biggest problems with still living with Mom when you're 32 is that she might just take away your beer...

It has puzzled experts for years. It is argued over from beer halls to halls of higher learning. It is a question that philosophers continue to argue over today. It's an age old question that really doesn't have a satisfactory answer, "How else is a groundhog supposed to get to Walmart anyway?"

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

In Memory of Our Honored Dead

Memorial Day is the day set aside to remember the unpayable debt we owe. In our nation's 233 years of history, 657,970 service men and women have died in combat. That is combat deaths on the battlefield, not total war deaths nor all deaths in the line of duty.

On Memorial Day, May 31, 1982, after placing a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery, President Ronald Reagan made the following remarks. While there are references to the geopolitical situations of the era, but the sentiments are timeless.

Mr. President, General, the distinguished guests here with us today, my fellow citizens:

In America's cities and towns today, flags will be placed on graves in cemeteries; public officials will speak of the sacrifice and the valor of those whose memory we honor.

In 1863, when he dedicated a small cemetery in Pennsylvania marking a terrible collision between the armies of North and South, Abraham Lincoln noted the swift obscurity of such speeches. Well, we know now that Lincoln was wrong about that particular occasion. His remarks commemorating those who gave their ``last full measure of devotion'' were long remembered. But since that moment at Gettysburg, few other such addresses have become part of our national heritage -- not because of the inadequacy of the speakers, but because of the inadequacy of words.

I have no illusions about what little I can add now to the silent testimony of those who gave their lives willingly for their country. Words are even more feeble on this Memorial Day, for the sight before us is that of a strong and good nation that stands in silence and remembers those who were loved and who, in return, loved their countrymen enough to die for them.

Yet, we must try to honor them -- not for their sakes alone, but for our own. And if words cannot repay the debt we owe these men, surely with our actions we must strive to keep faith with them and with the vision that led them to battle and to final sacrifice.

Our first obligation to them and ourselves is plain enough: The United States and the freedom for which it stands, the freedom for which they died, must endure and prosper. Their lives remind us that freedom is not bought cheaply. It has a cost; it imposes a burden. And just as they whom we commemorate were willing to sacrifice, so too must we -- in a less final, less heroic way -- be willing to give of ourselves.

It is this, beyond the controversy and the congressional debate, beyond the blizzard of budget numbers and the complexity of modern weapons systems, that motivates us in our search for security and peace. War will not come again, other young men will not have to die, if we will speak honestly of the dangers that confront us and remain strong enough to meet those dangers.

It's not just strength or courage that we need, but understanding and a measure of wisdom as well. We must understand enough about our world to see the value of our alliances. We must be wise enough about ourselves to listen to our allies, to work with them, to build and strengthen the bonds between us.

Our understanding must also extend to potential adversaries. We must strive to speak of them not belligerently, but firmly and frankly. And that's why we must never fail to note, as frequently as necessary, the wide gulf between our codes of morality. And that's why we must never hesitate to acknowledge the irrefutable difference between our view of man as master of the state and their view of man as servant of the state. Nor must we ever underestimate the seriousness of their aspirations to global expansion. The risk is the very freedom that has been so dearly won.

It is this honesty of mind that can open paths to peace, that can lead to fruitful negotiation, that can build a foundation upon which treaties between our nations can stand and last -- treaties that can someday bring about a reduction in the terrible arms of destruction, arms that threaten us with war even more terrible than those that have taken the lives of the Americans we honor today.

In the quest for peace, the United States has proposed to the Soviet Union that we reduce the threat of nuclear weapons by negotiating a stable balance at far lower levels of strategic forces. This is a fitting occasion to announce that START, as we call it, strategic arms reductions, that the negotiations between our country and the Soviet Union will begin on the 29th of June.

As for existing strategic arms agreements, we will refrain from actions which undercut them so long as the Soviet Union shows equal restraint. With good will and dedication on both sides, I pray that we will achieve a safer world.

Our goal is peace. We can gain that peace by strengthening our alliances, by speaking candidly of the dangers before us, by assuring potential adversaries of our seriousness, by actively pursuing every chance of honest and fruitful negotiation.

It is with these goals in mind that I will depart Wednesday for Europe, and it's altogether fitting that we have this moment to reflect on the price of freedom and those who have so willingly paid it. For however important the matters of state before us this next week, they must not disturb the solemnity of this occasion. Nor must they dilute our sense of reverence and the silent gratitude we hold for those who are buried here.

The willingness of some to give their lives so that others might live never fails to evoke in us a sense of wonder and mystery. One gets that feeling here on this hallowed ground, and I have known that same poignant feeling as I looked out across the rows of white crosses and Stars of David in Europe, in the Philippines, and the military cemeteries here in our own land. Each one marks the resting place of an American hero and, in my lifetime, the heroes of World War I, the Doughboys, the GI's of World War II or Korea or Vietnam. They span several generations of young Americans, all different and yet all alike, like the markers above their resting places, all alike in a truly meaningful way.

Winston Churchill said of those he knew in World War II they seemed to be the only young men who could laugh and fight at the same time. A great general in that war called them our secret weapon, ``just the best darn kids in the world.'' Each died for a cause he considered more important than his own life. Well, they didn't volunteer to die; they volunteered to defend values for which men have always been willing to die if need be, the values which make up what we call civilization. And how they must have wished, in all the ugliness that war brings, that no other generation of young men to follow would have to undergo that same experience.

As we honor their memory today, let us pledge that their lives, their sacrifices, their valor shall be justified and remembered for as long as God gives life to this nation. And let us also pledge to do our utmost to carry out what must have been their wish: that no other generation of young men will every have to share their experiences and repeat their sacrifice.

Earlier today, with the music that we have heard and that of our National Anthem -- I can't claim to know the words of all the national anthems in the world, but I don't know of any other that ends with a question and a challenge as ours does: Does that flag still wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? That is what we must all ask.

Thank you.

I can add nothing to President Reagan's words except my own humble, "Thank you," to all who have paid the highest price for the liberty that you and I enjoy.

The Squirrel Did Not Cook This Week...

So, instead, enjoy the Mississippi Squirrel Revival by Ray Stevens:



I'll have food for you next week...

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 5/27/2010

The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

State Troopers in Fairbanks Alaska are investigating a brutal mass slaying. Twenty-six decapitated bodies were found arranged in an, as yet undeciphered, pattern. The victims heads were not located. Three residents of the same facility were left unharmed, but are too chicken to talk. Actually, the victims are all chickens, too. But police are still baffled...

The Constitution of the United States. Hundreds each day file past this document in its display case in the National Archive. Just about everybody knows that a bunch of guys wrote it along time ago, and that it is kind of important somehow. Now it seems that many people are starting to talk about the Constitution and what it says and what it means. In fact, it seems that reading the Constitution is becoming a popular thing to do! Gives me hope, it does.

It always worries me when I hear people say things like, "God told me to..." First, I've got very strong convictions about the sufficiency of Scripture and the Canon of Scripture being closed. Second, there's the fact that nobody every even tries to satisfy the Test of a True Prophet that God gave in Deuteronomy 18:22. Then there's the fact that too many of them say stuff like, "God told him to walk the streets naked to save his soul." Hmm... that's not what my Bible says...

Government interference seems to just be getting more and more intrusive. Smoking bans, salt limits, no more trans-fats. Now the government wants to say what we can and cannot wear. Yes, it's true. It is now against the law to vote in Nevada while wearing a chicken suit. (And, until that killer is caught, I wouldn't wear a chicken suit in Alaska, either...)

A couple of months ago, we had the story of a druggie who sent a text to the wrong number and invited the cops to share the drugs instead of her buddies. Well, stupid phone tricks continue. I seems that two dope dealers where staying in hotel rooms across the hall from each other. The guy in room 118 tried to call the guy in room 119. Well, he dialed the right numerals, but he dialed them in the wrong order... Yep, that's why they call it dope!

I remember reading The Amityville Horror when it was published in 1977. I was 12 years old, and it was terrifying to read. It scared me so badly that I didn't watch the 1979 film version until 1983 at a Halloween party my senior year of high school. I've not seen the re-make at all. I don't believe in ghosts, and I don't believe The Amityville Horror story to be true, but some things stick with you. Well, the house where these hauntings supposedly took place is up for sale. I'm not interested in purchasing that property. Thanks anyway.

That's the Nuttiness for this week! Keep those Nuts and letters coming!