Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Squirrel's Nut Cache - 5/20/2010


The Nut Cache - a collection of recent things I found interesting, or amusing, or nutworthy.

It's CSI meets pooper scooper for the residents of the Scarlett Place condos in Baltimore. While responsible pet owners police their pets, not all pet owners are responsible. Tired of finding canine "deposits" about the building, the management has decided to DNA test all resident dogs, so that they'll be able to match poo to pooch and see that the poopetrator is brought to justice...

Who doesn't like Italian cooking? The spices! The sauces! The pasta! The stewed feline! Yes, feline. It seems that, growing up in Valdarno, Tuscany, celebrity chef Beppe Bigazzi used to enjoy a little cat casserole now and then. On a recent television program, he recommended cat to viewers as a “succulent dish”. This resulted in lots of angry calls to the television studio, which resulted in Chef Beppe and his cat recipes being shown the door. What's wrong with eating cat? It worked for Alf! (And it's not like he was giving out squirrel recipes or anything sick like that.)

I wonder who was more surprised, the car's owner or the car's thief? It seems that the car that was stolen wasn't exactly unoccupied. See, it was a hearse... and it had a "passenger" in the back... When police officers later found the abandoned hearse, inside there was a note that told where the "passenger" had been dropped off. So, he wasn't late to his own funeral after all.

So, have you ever Googled yourself? It's kinda scary to see just how much information about yourself is out there on the internet. It has been said lots of places and lots of ways, but it bears repeating: once something goes out on the internet, it is there forever. A waitress at a pizza place in Charlotte, North Carolina, learned that lesson the hard way, when she was fired for complaining about a poor tip on Facebook. My Daddy used to always tell me, "Never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to them." The new version should be, "Never post anything about someone that you wouldn't say to them." Dad was smart.

I've talked to people who've worked in funeral homes. They've all, every one, told me about weird stuff that happens. When Dan Brown, owner of the Brown Funeral Home in , stopped by his shop one evening, he certainly didn't expect to find someone... well, someone alive, anyway... in one of the coffins! Nope, not a vampire (although the report says that she did try to bite him,) an escapee from the county jail. Police had been looking for her for hours, now they've got her dead to rights.

A Toronto woman, Gabriella Nagy, was cheating on her husband. He saw some suspiciously long phone calls on her cell phone bill. He investigated and discovered her affair. He left her, and she's mad... really mad... at the cell phone company! She blames their billing procedures for he husband finding out that she was cheating. She's even filed a lawsuit against them. Everything is always someone else's fault...

I really wonder who thought this would be a good idea? Did he ask them to do it? Or were they just sitting around and came up with the idea on their own. In any case, we're not talking genius-level thought processes here. The fact is that this mishandling of Scripture was criminal, absolutely criminal.

And the Nuttiness goes on and on...

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